Small World

Sometimes I’ll drive down the street on a perfect fall afternoon and turn up the radio, roll my windows down and allow the wind to stir up the tears in my eyes.┬áThe song on the radio spills into open chords where every instrument flows together. ┬áThe world forces its way into the palm of my…

When She’s Not Right For You

I had a female over last night, and things went pretty good.   Or so I thought.   We were under the covers and the lights were dim. I couldn’t see much, but what I could feel was great!   Everything was going fine, all huffing and pufing and what not, until she whispered in…

Comfort Inside Big Spaces

Along the road to financial success, I have learned the power of simplicity.   True success is found within the little things.   And now I am back-pedaling, trying to relive the life I have already lived. eliminating the stress that comes with the big things, and finding comfort inside the space where something big…

Bound to the Laws of Magnetism.

A good woman is easy to find. All you need to do is look for a terrible man. She’s almost always the one wrapped up in his arms. But don’t fret, ladies. A good man can be found using the same method.   It’s interesting to see how science keeps us attached to the things…

Taking a Peek

When I’m using a public restroom and I’m surrounded by open stalls, I get upset with that one random guy who just has to use the urinal right next to me.   Do I look like I need company while I’m peeing?   When someone does this to me, I always go out of my…

‘Normal’ is a Mask

There is no such thing as normal, only what is perceived as normal by society’s standards.   As a result, people are always searching for a woman or a man who is ‘just normal,’ but once they find this person, they learn of many secrets lurking beneath the surface. Drug and alcohol abuse – possibly…

Rap vs Heavy Metal

Rap music is destroying our youth.   Kids these days walk around mispronouncing words and speaking in incomplete sentences.   I miss the days when heavy metal ruled the airwaves and all the kids walked around worshipping Satan and cutting themselves.

People Love Clowns, They Just Don’t Know It… Yet.

I’m going to write an entire novel while dressed as a clown.   My white gloved fingers will plug away at the keyboard and write the most beautiful prose, and all the silly dialogue will be written while honking away at my funny red nose, and while people read it, they’re going to laugh, and…

Being What You’re Told

About ten years ago, I went through this strange phase where I called everyone Jimmy. Male or female – it didn’t matter. Your name was Jimmy.   And people went with it! All of them!   As I look back on those days, I’m questioning my reasoning behind this phenomenon less, and questioning everyone’s eagerness…

Where the Liars Are

A lawyer once told me I’m too honest, and that I need to learn how to lie to the police.   This told me two things:   1. Our prisons are filled with honest people.   2. Our justice system is filled with liars.  

A King Needs His Queen

A dear friend and I were talking about love and betrayal because he’s currently in the beginning stages of a budding relationship.   As most men know, when you are happy and in love, women begin to notice you more. They throw themselves at you, and temptation is abundant. But sadly, no matter how loyal…

Stay In Love

When you’re in love with someone, they will always look beautiful to you, and when you hate someone they will always look ugly.   I enjoy gazing upon beautiful things, therefore I try to remain in love with everyone and everything.     You can always find something to love someone for, no matter how…