My dog shit on the floor today, so I went to hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, but then I realized I don’t have a newspaper because everyone gets their news from the internet these days.
So I smacked the dog with the internet, and he gave me those sad puppy eyes, forcing me to have a second look at the shit, and I realized it wasn’t shit after all, but one of his rope chew toys that he left laying there.
I felt bad about it, but couldn’t admit I was wrong because he’s a dog and dogs are stupid. They’ll believe anything, so I hit him with the internet again and told him it was his shit.
He refused to give in, so I hit him again and again, giving him everything the internet had, until finally, the dog believed me. Now he’s running around the neighborhood telling all the other dogs that their chew toys are shit, and it’s spreading like wildfire.
Because, like people, dogs are stupid. They’ll accept anything as long as their masters keep repeating the same lies. After a while, they eventually believe it, and once they believe it, they can keep getting hit over and over again, beaten down until they themselves are just obedient little piles of shit laying on the floor.
This is important, everybody, so the only question we have left is…
Anyone want to help me spread the news?